The Himalylas

In 1991 I thought it would be a good idea to move out of my parents house. I had lived away before but this would be the first time I would go it alone. I drove around the Avenues in Salt Lake looking for that perfect hide out. I was on 1st Avenue and saw a room for rent sign in front of a descent looking building. I inquires of the manager, which I found on the first floor, whose domain looked just like something out of the movie Spinal Tap, not joking. I went to get some coffee to think about it and got so intensly worried someone else would grab it. I gathered the money and went for it. What a thrill. I had always been comfortalbe being alone. I found it relaxing. Nobody to dissapoint. I moven all my stuff in and watched the shadows on the wall descend to usher in the first night. Then it began. The small radiator in the corner began making, the best way I can describve it, these banging noised. I would later affectionally refer to it as my own personal African Drum Circle. I had never encountered an real living radiator before so in fearing of eminent explosion and the resulting scalding of my entire body I thought, for safetys sake, I would sleep in the small walking closet. After time I got used to the banging and realized i was in no danger I slept on the floor. When the floor became to much to bear I pulled out the hide away bed. There was nothing but metal box springs with a desperate sag in the middle. Still it was better than the floor. My solitude took on months and winter arrived. Cold. The radiator provided no relief. I just kept thinking, "This is so punk rock!" When you adjust what is acceptable, you have no boundaries, you  have no limits to what you can endure.The walls began to stare back at me.  At least I had a friend. People would come by and visit. I was so lonley I would follow them out to their car to say good bye. I told the local sister missionaries I wasnt Mormon in hopes they would begin visiting me. The crazy people on my floow asking for money or wanting to sell drugs didnt seem so crazy. I  wasnt without persuits however. My hair, shoulder length, grew tattered and knotted. I wanted dreadlocks. I had always heard the the jamacians would swim in the ocean and the salt water would dread their hair so I thought it would be fun to do the same.Coinsedentally there was a large body of salt water jsut down the street, it was indeed the great salt lake. I took a large plastic bucket and drove through the grey haze out to Salt Air Resort on the banks of the Great Salt Lake. the watchman was a little confused as I tried to explain to him my great plan but I got the salt water any way. I would never wash my hair but instead dip my head in to the bucket every morning. It didnt work so well. I just got really smelly. I never took into account the population of brine shrimp but we will jsut leave it at that. As spring came my best and closest friend Izrael moved in with me. Take two obssesive compulsive and confused guys on the edge, put them in a small studio apartment and see what happens. It was some of the best times in my life. We kept each outher up sometimes all night laughing. Izrael left and nearing summer I left as well. I felt like the mountaineer who had just ascended the Himalyas. I was a different person. I didnt fall in to the abyss, I realized I had become the abyss.

I would walk the streets at night after it had rained. With a flashlight  I would collect all of the numbers on the buildings as I walked by. I would then transfer them in to that Star Wars notebook I found in the back of the 7-11 on Bleaker Street. I would stare at teh numbers adn they would tell me things. I'm just a kid, on a park bench with a backpack containing a half eaten sandwitch, a ball of twine and some honey, the kind that comes in the little plastic packages that usually contain mustard or ketchap. I found the honey at Maverick. You want to know whats going on? look in the back of a Maxi mart at threee am. Some say the kingdom of heaven in inside you, I think its inside of am empty beer can.

Greetings, and may the Earth shake you by the hand. It is through the encouragement of a close friend that I undertake this work in progress. It takes someone looking in your eye encourageing you and making you realize that you actually matter to so something like this, that anyone would actually care. I just want to create a real person on a virtual screen. I just want a place to create another reflexion of myself. As I talk about the tings that I care about, music people or whatever, my hope is to have some of you identify with it and comment or not. This should be a really good ride.

                                                           A close friend of mine informed me, at three fifteen one night, that if you ate a whole watermelon after smoking pot you could pass any drug test. A whole watermelon for heavens sake.

My close friend Izrael, introduced the concept of listening to the metal band Metallica, one wintery evening in the back space of a thrift store that was owned by another friend. This was a fascinating place. It consisted of a room and then a small bathroom but with no shower. Oh yea and he had a microwave oven that he would produce the latest best culinary had to offer that came from the frozen asile. Izrael had painted a huge mural on the wall dedicated to the band The Mission UK. That was his favorite band at the time. Anyway, this was a place, of several that I have come across, that you could literally go insane. There was nothing to prevent it if you were of the same mindset that Izrael and I happened to be at the time. So we were sitting there listening to a close band The Bad Yodelers, and Izrael says, "Yea, if you like this music you would love Maetllica. Especially the Ride the Lightening album. Izrael loved the line from the song, Fadeto Black. It was about suicide and the best line in the song that resonated with Izrael was, "I was me but now he's gone." So I rushed out and got it. I can't really describe the effect it had on me. It was like finding an old friend on ly one that you have never emt before. I remenmber staying up all night playing Nintendo Mario Brothers and listening to it. Eventually, what was hapeing in the game on the screen reflectesd perfectly with the music.